So it's a new year.

Technically, not for me, it won't be a new year for me until march fourteenth but hey, semantics.

And what's going to happen this year? Well, I'm going to be taking another creative writing course and I'd like to have another shot at learning Japanese and maybe taking guitar lessons. Either way, being an author, translator or songwriter isn't a proper way to earn a living but fuck it. I just don't care. I guess that makes me more of a punk than all those hardcore punks with a family, kids, an SUV and a full-time job in an office and I'm not even trying.

So, ways to turn my apathy into art... I'd very much like to do something creative. Animate something, design something, get something published. What I'd really like is to collaborate, to have people to work with on a project and have my input accepted. I could design characters, write a scenario, draw some concept art or critique a work or something, I just want something to focus on, you know? The reason I want to collaborate rather than solo it is that I ALWAYS procrastinate or lose faith in myself. I need someone else there to keep me motivated and to bounce ideas off of.

So essentially I need a valet... Hmm I guess they don't work for IOUs.

So my first creative writing class of the new year is coming up soon, and I suppose I can check around newgrounds to see if any animators are in need of a writer or something.

Ideally I'd have a creative girlfriend that can be there for me and keep me going.

And maybe pigs will fly

Oh, and soph said I should write songs after reading my poems. Maybe. Id like to but you cant really form a band by yourself.

Doom 3 retrospective and BFG edition

So recently I bought myself a copy of Doom 3 BFG edition. This well-deserved re-release of the classic Doom 3 not only contains the full game and it's expansion pack (resurrection of evil) but a never-before-seen campaign titled the "Lost Mission" as well as the original Doom and it's sequel Doom II so this is one title just jam-packed with content and extras, as well as new game modes and hidden secrets and easter eggs and all at a lower RRP than your average title (I picked mine up for £15, about the same price as a DVD and less than half the price of the new Halo game)

As I was enjoying the hell out of this game, I thought I'd best fish out an old retrospective to get you up to speed on the original Doom 3 and top it all off with some extra critique of the BFG edition content, read on;

Doom 3

Rarely does a horror game stand the test of time, have you played the original Resident Evil recently? The zombies’ muffled moans and dull textures make them more of a joke than a threat. As graphical fidelity and programming techniques improve, what was once nightmare-inducing becomes laughable and quaint. It is with grim satisfaction therefore that I recommend Doom 3 as it’s use of atmospheric lighting and themes of darkness and despair still makes it a wonderfully immersive pant-wettening experience.

You gotta have zombies...

Many ages ago, back when dragons walked the land and the black plague was still in it’s infancy a developer named id software released Doom. Crude by today’s standards, Doom was a marvel of game design that all but introduced gamers to the world of first person shooting. Combining fast paced run and gun gameplay, grotesque hellish beasts and enough firepower to make Duke Nukem blush, id software took the gaming world by storm, releasing Doom II shortly afterwards to critical acclaim.

Many years later id software decided the dust off the series for a modern sequel in proper 3D. The result was Doom 3, a chilling tale of a colony on Mars in the year 2145 as the inhabitants unearth ancient artifacts and unwittingly rip open a portal to Hell itself. Sent in to investigate the catastrophe, you play as an unnamed space marine (unofficially dubbed with the longstanding series moniker “Doom Marine”) who slowly begins to uncover the atrocities committed by the scientists on Mars and the nightmarish demons they unleashed.

The story goes that whilst researching certain artifacts, researchers were also working on advanced teleportation technology. Upon testing the teleporter, the scientists found there was an unexplained delay caused when transporting materials through the device. They resolved to send a video recorder and upon inspection of the footage found eyes, dozens of eyes staring at the recorder, they had discovered life in a dimension parallel to our own. Doing what they do best, the research team began sending human subjects through the teleporter in the hopes of capturing a specimen. Things did not go well, however as every man sent through was driven completely insane, one test resulted in the volunteer chewing off his own fingers.

There's a whole host of weapons at your disposal

One particularly dangerous scientist named Betruger took it upon himself to steal one of the facility’s mysterious martian artifacts, named the soul cube, and take it through the machine. The result was devastating as with the soul cube’s power, the demons of Hell could enter the facility on Mars, slaughtering and warping the minds of it’s inhabitants. Betruger acts as the game’s antagonist and appears to be working on behalf of the minions of Hell to spread their infernal influence and ultimately bring Hell to Earth.

So we step into the Doom marine’s boots and it’s pretty much business as usual for an FPS, controls are simple and responsive but the best part of Doom 3 is the graphics. Unique amongst games of the age, id software graced Doom 3 with a top-quality lighting engine that made shadows pitch black and light sources ominous, the result is a game world in which every shadow there could be an enemy lurking. Simply by the scarce use of lighting Doom 3 lends itself to internal fear, the fear of the unknown as you will be unable to relax so long as there is one dark corner you haven’t yet checked for monsters. One brilliant addition to the game is the fact your flashlight is large and unwieldy, meaning that you cannot have your flashlight in your hands at the same time as your weapon. This makes trying to illuminate your path or check a cranny for supplies a gamble as should you come across an enemy you’ll find yourself at a serious disadvantage (you can hit enemies with your flashlight but it won’t do much damage). The result is a terrifying panic as you scramble to back away, plunging the enemy into darkness as you ready your gun, their eyes glowing menacingly.

The flashlight, you can always whack 'em with it.

*** I will mention at this point that the flashlight is missing from the BFG edition in favour of a shoulder-mounted light that allows players to use a weapon simultaneously. Whether this is an improvement or not is a matter of personal taste, personally I miss the flashlight and would have liked the option to choose between the hand and shoulder versions. If you want the old style light, buy the old style edition like I did***

A great deal of time and effort has been put into the environments of the Mars facility. You are rewarded for exploring dark corners and air ducts with much needed ammunition and health pickups and scattered about every level you will come across PDAs (Personal Data Assistant) which hold emails and voice messages sent amongst the researchers. Not only do these titbits hold interesting information on the storyline and the events leading up to the catastrophe, they will occasionally hold pass codes to get you into various storage lockers scattered about the game. At first I found I would skim messages looking for such codes but before long I was hooked on reading them, they’re remarkably well written and offer genuine insight into the plot. id software really nailed getting the player to get involved in the plot by rewarding such tangents.

Enemies in Doom 3 are both charmingly retro and terrifying. In a call back to the old Doom days of yore, id software decided to keep the enemy roster to familiar faces such as flaming skulls, floating fire-breathing mouths, plasma-hurling imps etc. These monsters, whilst quaint really do seem to have come from the traditional ideas of Hell we all envision with pools of lava and plenty of flame so go a long way to strengthening the setting. One particularly scary level sees you enter into Hell to retrieve the soul cube and do battle amongst floating rocks and lava pits with terrifying demons lit only by the flames of the inferno.

I'm guessing this fella's not the friendly type

So there you have it, Doom 3 is a wonderful amalgamation of tension, action, exploration, stunning graphical and sound design all rolled into a brilliantly detailed game world. It's a true pleasure to play and a modern classic, well deserving of it's HD remake. Any fan of first person gaming or horror should play this game!

BFG edition extras

So you've finished Doom 3, think it's all over? Well, not only did you have the pleasure of playing in full HD, you have a whole host of other things to keep you entertained, you can play the classic Doom games (with the extra missions included for hardcore fans), try out the online modes for competitive or cooperative balls-to-the-wall action or dive into the Doom 3 expansion packs to satisfy your craving for more hellish carnage!

First up is the Resurrection of Evil campaign, here id software have done what all developers should do when creating additional content; include all of the original game's strengths and build upon them. There's more action, more weapons and more enemies meaning more ways to play! Now id software don't pussyfoot around when it comes to gameplay, they know you're here because you want more Doom 3 so instead of a gradual build up and tutorial phase you're thrown into the action from the get-go, with a new relic that can slow time by feeding on the souls of dead humans and the all-new "grabber" tool that can pick up and throw objects including the ability to hurl enemies' plasma balls back at them for that oh-so-sweet "in your face!" moment. Like all great games, you're encouraged to mix up your play style and learn to use the new mechanics to your advantage with a brief explanation and a lot of opportunities to practise so before long you'll be throwing exploding barrels about and slowing time to really punish your adversaries. The best way to learn is to do, afterall.

This doodad can slow the passage of time!

Story-wise, Resurrection of Evil features Bertruger back and more pissed off, with a posse of three deadly daemons called the "hunters". After the Doom marine defeated him the first time around, a replacement band of fuckwits discovered a new relic in an underground excavation site on mars, proving that not even the apocalypse can make mankind leave well enough alone.

Next up we have the never-before-seen "Lost Mission" expansion, a planned add-on that was panned before it saw a release, which is a shame as although it's short, it's a veritable cornucopia of action and a non-stop gauntlet that will challenge all Doom veterans.

The story goes that whilst Bertruger was working on the teleportation projects in Delta labs, the UAC was secretly working on a much larger-scale version in the hopes of being able to teleport large pieces of equipment (like tanks) over large distances. The problem is, when all hell broke loose (zing) this larger teleporter meant a much bigger rift for unholy beasties to cross through. You play as a lone survivor frantically struggling to close the portal before everything goes tits-up in a big way, real fast. It's non-stop action and has a few easter eggs for fans to find along the way. Not to be missed.

The super shotgun makes a return in the expansion packs

And finally, special mention goes to Doom and Doom II that were generously bundled in, they may look seriously dated but they're still damn fun to play if you want to waste an hour or so, it's great fun to try and find all of the easter eggs and hidden rooms (you'll be rewarded for doing so with a trophy or achievement) and using your controller instead of a keyboard circa 1993 is a definite advantage. Once you get into the swing of it, you'll love mowing down corridors of sprites to a delightfully retro metal soundtrack. Keep your eyes peeled for the Wolfenstein secret levels and the hidden ending to Doom II ;)

We've come a long way, baby.

So there you have it, Doom 3 BFG edition is an absolute treat for old and new fans and really greases the gears in anticipation for Doom 4, which is in production right now! Grab yourself a copy and whether you're and old-school Doom fan or a newbie looking to see what all the fuss is about, you won't be disappointed!

My profile

Okay, so this might be a bit of a shock to you but I'm on a dating site (what? you? Mister popularity?) so I thought I'd do something weird and copy down my dating profile here.

You see, as I'm a writer and all-round grumpy bastard I took the liberty of making my profile as creative as I could whilst being autobiographical, this means I probably won't be getting many messages from women unless they, too, like making jokes about cancer, have blue hair and hate children, and at the end of the day, they're the only ones I'm in the least bit interested in meeting.

The following is my unabridged dating profile, yes it's long but I've had a while to work on it. Again, yes, you'd think I would be looking for one day max before I was up to my eyeballs in women, I'm just trying to break it to you gently.

About Me

I'm Sam. Six foot two, thin and awesome. Still with me? Read on;

Firstly, I dont have a car, I have a motorbike. There wasn't an option for that possibility :(
It's blue, and despite what everyone assumes I don't have a passion for motorbikes, I just own one. You eat, right? Does that make you a food connoisseur? No? Okay, moving on.

Im a punk rock sort of guy. I love scary movies, animation, japanese rock, foreign films, punk rock music and animals! I'm a proud geek and utterly despise football, clubbing and TV, which admittedly makes me as popular with my own gender as I am with rhesus monkeys (which football fans remind me of come to think of it. A lot of obnoxious whooping and no real brain activity)

I have five pet rats that I adore (two girls, three boys) and would like to get a dog one day. I love to talk at length with good friends and good wine and at some point I want to go to Japan to absorb some culture, mainly since I've yet to find any in England.

I think manners and being respectful is important as I would expect the same from a stranger. I cant stand rude people or men who mistreat women and call them "love" or refer to women as "birds". Im not uptight however, I just prefer to be a nice caring person, which makes me a minority come to think about it,

I have seven piercings (eyebrow, lip, three in one ear, two in the other) six tattoos (both forearms, back of both legs, side&stomach and chest, all stars) and am planning on getting more, I also dye my hair different colours, blue, green, red you name it. Even went pink once, it didn't end well but I got the restraining order removed eventually.

I exercise regularly and try to stay fit and active. Im not quite an athelete but an active lifestyle makes me feel good about myself. I swim almost every day to stay fit and healthy and because I love water. I'm mad for water parks, which is a shame as this is England and the closest you'll get is getting rained on in a playground.

I've recently rediscovered my love of literature, shakespeare, isaac asimov, terry pratchett, bruce coville, tolkein, edgar allan poe etc. ive written a few short stories and am writing a novel. Everyone has a novel in them, it seems like I have quite a few stored up so its about time I got them down. Looking to be a published author in the near future!

I'd like to learn Japanese, I enrolled in a course which was cancelled due to people dropping out. That sucked.

I volunteer at my local Oxfam bookshop to raise money for starving people across the globe, I also lie to charity collectors on the high street so they'll leave me the f*ck alone.

Dislikes:

Children (they aren't all bad, just yours)
Fashion
Hoop earrings
Chart music
Text speak, or just bad grammar in general (I know when to use your and you're correctly for example)
Bigotry/racism/intolerance in all its forms. Grow up, its not big or clever to discriminate, it's just sad.
"Wacky" people. It's usually a cover for being dull as pig sh*t to talk to.
People who settle for less. If you aren't doing the job you want to be doing because it pays the bills, you need to rethink your perspective.
Facebook petitions. You want to make a difference? Volunteer.
Drum n bass, hip hop, dance music, pop, eighties music, all that sort of shit.
Metal (yeah, really)
Chavs
Overweight people (I work out, why can't they?)
Clubs
People who don't drink responsibly
Careless drivers. If you break the speed limit habitually you're a d*ck, end of discussion.
Women who cheat/play games/don't give a rats ass about my damn feelings. Yes, men have them too.
Dip dying (don't follow trends, set them)
Anyone who describes themselves as having a "bubbly" personality (it basically means you don't have one)
Religion/religious people. Seriously, stay the hell away from me.
Anyone who is "just an average girl". I'm not average and I don't want average, I want interesting, sorry.

What I'm looking for:

I'm looking for a cute girl with flair & style. If you have piercings and/or tattoos, have a crazy hair colour and generally aren't fashion-conscious or trendy I WANT TO MEET YOU! The first step to loving yourself is to dress how YOU want to dress, not just to be like everyone else.

Bad girls should definitely drop me a line, nice is great but boring at the end of the day.

I love intellectuals and having long conversations about important matters. Good sense of humour is a must! Im a connoisseur of many types of comedy and can always find the funny side of anything. Even cancer, it might be deadly but the pounds just fall off, great for dieting.

I draw and write so someone creative would be nice, or at least someone who can be supportive of my skills and kick my ass for procrastinating. Im always up for friendship too, I recently moved to Winchester from Canterbury so could always do with a few more friends. If you like the sound of movies and games with takeaway food then we should totally meet up.

As for the date itself, pizza, a coffee, or just sitting and watching the world go by. Life is for living so take it easy.

Some of my first dates:

Coffee and muffins followed by deep conversation and endless jokes.
An anime convention in London.
Playing videogames with a bottle of wine
Taking photographs by a scenic river for poetic inspiration (yes, really)
Massages, oil, candles, the works.
Pizza!
Hacking my date into small pieces and feeding them to orphans

(Okay, I was lying about the pizza)