Horsefeathers.
By Samuel M. Curd
My name is Horsefeathers, sir, if you please
I hike in the mist, through snow-covered trees
With my white hair hanging in plaits by my knees
When I fulfil my mission, I can finally be free
And see so much more of the world
I'm a child inside, though twenty years old
I live in the wild, where it's wet and it's cold
There's wolves and there's dragons, or, so I was told
I trade furs and meats for handfuls of gold
Yes, I'm quite the peculiar girl
I was sent from my home, an outcast at ten
I was frightened and lost, and ever since then
I've had no interest in romance or pursuing men
That was, until, I came to my birthplace again
And I met a man stranger than me
I had wandered the wilds for my birthplace in vain
Since my Mother had left me on some distant plain
In the hopes of me never returning again
But by virtue of what memories I had retained
I located that house perched on the hill
I looked through the window, expecting to see
My mother sat, lazily drinking her tea
Or warming herself by the fire with glee
I had the axe in my hands, and was all but ready
But there was a man, looking lonely and ill
The man was so tall, and so utterly clean
With fantastic blue eyes that sparkled and gleamed
His fingers were long, his dark hair was preened
His skin was the whitest you'd ever have seen
His features were pointy and ruthlessly keen
I thought, perhaps it was all but a dream
As I fought inside to stay calm
But then, it seemed, he chanced me a look
I wanted to run, but found myself hooked
As I met his dark eyes, my bottom lip shook
But then, perhaps, I had mistook
Because my mother had taken his arm
I wanted to curse and break through the door,
To scream at my mother, throw her to the floor
Why was this man shackled to such a miserable whore?
Had he never been warned about witches before?
Or was he completely insane?
To fight back the rage, I turned and I ran
And I hid, and I started to brood on a plan
To exact my revenge, I would steal her new man
Break her heart, and have her understand
What it's like to live with such pain
But that night, I was sleeping, hardly dreaming
When all at once I heard a screaming,
My mother came hurtling into the clearing
Chased by the man, and the blade he was wielding
His white face was now shining with red
Then he laughed as he thrust the knife in her back
As she fell to the floor, he started to hack
And arranged all the pieces in a neat little stack
It was clear that at long last, the lover had cracked
And my mother was very much dead
I ran to the man and said "thank you, sincerely"
He was taken aback, but answered me "really,
It was a long time coming, but seeing you merely
Awakened my heart, which had grown wooden and dreary"
And with that, I knew I was in love
We threw Mother's remains to the great Northern river
And left the old house to crumble and wither
And had a white wedding with rings made of silver
When I think of my mother it still makes me shiver
But I know she's alone up above
My name is Horsefeathers, sir, if you please
My mission is done
Now together we run
And bask in the sun
Our lives have begun
As we dance in the mist, through snow-covered trees.
